i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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