Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
