If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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