He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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