It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
