In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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