hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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