why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
