I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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