i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
