Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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