you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
