i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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