Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
