I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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