I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
