Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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