U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
