i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Randomize
