White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just googled if crying burns calories
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
