I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
