He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
