I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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