so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Boobs are out for the taking
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
