i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
