grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
