I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
