its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
