so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
