I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
