I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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