why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
