he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I am naked and annoyed.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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