Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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