Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
