I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
