Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
