Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I cockslap morals
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
