If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
