I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
