I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
