if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
