dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
organizing the empties. That sober.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
