Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
