I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
should my penis look like a turkey
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
