it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
