I wanna passion pit in your ass
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
