He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
