As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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