please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
