He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
